Sleeping late everyday...

It's been a while since I posted how I'm livng.
I went to Wednesday worship, and today there was missionary couple, and they are from China. They are preaching Gospel to Hui(pronounced Hwee) people in China. I heard many things they do, and how they are eager to build first Hui people's church. Although since Hui people are deeply into Muslim, and family and community pressure make Hui people reluctant to accept the Bible, this missionary couple kept trying to win one soul. They just do one step at a time to convert people to Jesus Christ by praying and serving with love.
I'm living in community, the United States, that doesn't persecute for openly preaching gospel, for reading Bible, for going to church; however, I'm still afraid of the people's reaction over the love of God. This is sin, and I must obey God and give out myself to Him, so that He may use me as His tool to save the souls and spread this good news. I can't do this by myself with wicked, lazy heart, but Jesus is in me, and He is possible and He will do as His will. Amen =)

[Scrap] True Repentence

This is from Pastor John MacArthur's article.

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John MacArthur 목사님의 article 에서 발췌한 내용입니다.
내 안에 진정한 회개가 있는지, 확인하게 되네요..


Repentance is not merely behavior reform. But because true repentance involves a change of heart and purpose, it inevitably results in a change of behavior…

Like faith, repentance has intellectual, emotional, and volitional ramifications…

Intellectual element of repentance: “a change of view, a recognition of sin as involving personal guilt, defilement, and helplessness.”

Emotional element of repentance: “a change of feeling, manifesting itself in sorrow for sin committed against a holy God.”

Volitional element of repentance: “ a change of purpose, an inward turning away from sin, and a disposition to seek pardon and cleansing.”

Each of those three elements is deficient apart from the others. Repentance is a response of the total person; therefore some speak of it as total surrender.

…..

It is true that sorrow from sin is not repentance. Judas felt remorse, but he didn’t repent (Matt 27:3). Repentance is not just a resolve to do better; everyone who has ever made New Year’s resolutions knows how easily human determination can be broken. Repentance certainly is not penance, an activity performed to try to atone for one’s own sins.

But neither is repentance a solely intellectual issue. Surely even Judas changed his mind; what he didn’t do was turn from his sin and throw himself on the Lord for mercy. Repentance is not just a change of mind; it is a change of heart. It is a spiritual turning, a total about-face. Repentance in the context of new birth means turning from sin to the Savior. It is an inward response, not external activity, but its fruit will be evident in the true believer’s behavior (Luke 3:8).

It has often been said that repentance and faith are two sides of the same coin. That coin is called conversion. Repentance turns from sin to Christ, and faith embraces Him as the only hope of salvation and righteousness. Faith and repentance are distinct concepts, but they cannot occur independently of each other… Genuine repentance is always the flip side of faith; and true faith accompanies repentance.

What repentance calls for is not only a "change of mind" but a turning away from the love of sin.

내 주인은 오직 예수님

"내 주인은 오직 예수님
다른 이름은 없네
나의 갈 길은 오직 십자가
다른 길은 없네
주의 십자가와 함께 죽고
주와 함께 다시 산
난, 나의 십자가 지고
주님을 따라가리
다른 곳 돌아보지 않고
난, 십자가의 길을 가리."

오직 십자가만이 나의 자랑, 나의 고백.
오직 주의 보혈만이 나의 자랑, 나의 고백.

(Hebrews 2:1)

"We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away" (Hebrews 2:1)
We must not be carried away by the sinful world, we must obey to the word of God.

T.C.E. Level 1

Teaching Children Efficiently를 듣고 있다.
처음엔 뭔지도 모르고 교회에서 한다니 영서형 따라 들었다.
그런데 많은 도움이 된다. 주님께서 참석하게 하신 것 같다.
애들을 가르치는 것 뿐 아니라 내가 갖고 있던 질문도 풀어주셨다.
난 다시 또 죄를 지을 때 또 다시 주님께서 나와 함께 하시지 않을까봐
주님께서 나를 떠나실 까봐 너무 불안했었다. 그러나 주님께서는 "글없는책"의 실습을 통해 나에게 알려주셨다. 한번 주님을 영접한 자는 주님께서 떠나지 않으시고 나를 도우사 죄를 짓지 않게 도와 주신다고 하셨다. 그리고 한번 죄를 지으고 그것을 오랬동안 회개하지 않으면 그것을 가지고 계속 나를 마귀가 괴롭히는데 "네가 또 이렇게 죄를 짓는데 어떻게 하나님의 자녀야? 넌 구원 못 받았어."라거나 "네가 예전에 지은 죄 또 한번 지어봐~ 뭐 어때 이미 지은 죄 또 한번 더 지은 것인데"라며 속이려한다. 그러나 우리는 이것을 빨리 주님께 고백하고 그것에서 부터 자유로워 져야한다. 회개하지 않으면 결국 마귀에게 끌려다녀 열매없는 사람이 될 것이다.
또 T.C.E. 강사님의 한분이신 Samuel 목사님이 물으셨다. "죄를 짓고 회개하고 죄를 또 짓고 회개하고 죄를 또 짓고 회개하고 이렇게 하면 어떻게 될까요?" 나는 당연히 잘못된 것이라 생각했다. 그런데 목사님이 "잘못됐다고요? 하지만 여러분. 여러분은 이렇게 살지 않나요?" 그렇게 말하시자 할 말이 없었다. 나도 죄를 계속 짓고 주님께 계속 회개하고 있지 않은가? 물론 목사님은 이것을 이용하여 계속 죄를 지어도 회개하면 상관없겠지란 마음을 먹고 한다면 죄를 지으려는 마음이 있기 때문에 잘못된 거라 말씀하셨다.
또한 인상적이었던 Samuel 목사님의 예화
한 노인이 해변에서불가사리를 하나 하나 주어서 바다에 던지고 있다.
그래서 한 사람이 가서 묻는다 "그렇게 해봤자 몇마리 못 던질텐데요." 그러자 노인이 말한다 "그래요. 나는 몇마리 못 던지지만 이 불가사리들에게는 생명이 달린 것이요"라고.
우리 삶에 우리는 많은 사람들을 만날 것이다. 복음을 전할 기회가 우리에게 와도 우리는 그들에게 복음을 전해줄 수도 있고 안 전할 수도 있다. 그러나 우리는 이것이 그 사람에게는 평생 단 한번오는 복음을 듣는 기회일지도 모른다고 생각하고 전하려고 힘써야한다. 그가 만약 이 기회를 당신이 놓쳐서 그 사람이 구원 못 받고 그냥 그렇게 살다가 지옥에 가게 된다면 하나님은 우리를 엄히 책망하실 것이다.
"내가 너희에게 이르노니 이와 같이 죄인 한 사람이 회개하면 하늘에서는 회개할 것 없는 의인 아흔아홉으로 말미암아 기뻐하는것보다 더하리라"(눅15:7) 이렇듯이 우리는 한 영혼을 주님께로 이끌기를 힘써야한다.
나는 그렇다면 기회가 될때면 다 복음을 전하고 있는가? 아니다. 나는 복음을 제대로 전해 본 적이 없다. 그러나 전하고 싶은 마음이 있다. 이번에 새소식반에 참여하게 될 것 같다. 물론 힘들겠지만 주님께서 함께 하실 것을 구하며 믿기에 이 자리가 은혜의 자리가 되길 원한다.

어라 한국말로 했네;;;
첫 한글 포스트.. ㅎㅎ

Final Time is over!

Thank you God, without you I would've just gave up.
My grades looked like it couldn't recover, but You told me to do the best as much as You want me to do. God, I'm thankful that even though it was days without sleepings and very tiresome days, You gave me hope. Jesus Christ's cross. Whenever I look at it, it fills me completely with joy and peace. This world is painful, and more painful things are yet to come. BUT I believe in Jesus' Cross, and that's where the power I get for living in this sinful world.
I'm sinful man. Everyday I commit sin, do not listen to my God.
Do not follow His words, and I like to just live with the world.
How deadly sinful I'm. Without Jesus' Cross, I would've thrown to Hell thousand times, but I live only by this cross. The love that God gave me to live. Amen.

Fall 2009, Finals Time

Finals Time is back!
I'm not studying and I'm sleepy... Hah.. I just wasted 2 hours on laptop to fix network connection issue. For some reason, it can't connect to restricted.utexas.edu
It worked before, so I tried bunch of different methods to fix it, but I couldn't...
Ah.. and then I realized that I wasted a lot of time. 2 hours in final time worth a lot. Every hour, every minute counts, but I always slack off at the end of the semester. Since it felt like semester is already over, even though everybody studied, I didn't.
I believe God has given me this studying because He wants me to do it. God has plan for me, and this studying would be directly or not directly affect my life, but it would have a factor on my life either way.
Today, I didn't follow His words as he wants me to, and I'm ashamed and I'm sorry. God has a plan and I really want to follow it, but sometimes I forget the objective of life that God given me and just want to enjoy in this world.
Good grades doesn't not really matter to me. I'm not saying grades don't matter, but I'm just saying it would be just a small part of my life when I consider the God's work ahead of me. But I think God want me to do my best. So I will.

He is preparing the way.
And He wants me to be ready.
Thru training and through every bit of life,
He is preparing my way.
And He wants me to be ready,
So that I will be ready when He calls me home.

I'm following His way.
And I want to be ready.
Thru training and through every bit of life,
I'm following God's way.
Then, I will be ready.
I will be ready to go to my home, my true home.